"Hey.. sleepy head. Grey. Hellooo? ..Natasha? Natasha, wake up."

It'd been three in the morning.. three in the morning, when Dr. Natasha Grey had been awakened from her slumber. She'd completely conked out just three hours earlier - in her scrubs and all - in a side hall of St. Mary's hospital.. thank god for vacant, randomly displaced beds, no? There were a ton of them, lined up against a wall of windows - one of Tash's favorite places in the hospital. It was, like, the only quiet place that she could find.. the one thing that made up for the uncomfortable mattresses. And, basically, that was where she slept.. on, and off, call. Though, off call was a rare case, in itself.. considering she did, indeed, have a house of her own.

Sort of.

Last night had been an exception though, you know? She was on call until one thirty something a.m., when the doctors had told her to go home and get some rest.. interns were overworked these days, and she had trouble hiding the tiredness she felt, even if she'd be more than happy to stay and continue working.. though, she wasn't a workaholic, not even close to it. Natasha wouldn't say that working as an intern was fun.. nor would be a resident, or an attending. But she had a fear which kept her at the hospital day-to-day, a fear so simple and unnecessary that she was forced to keep it all entirely to herself.

A fear to go home.

See? Don't say I didn't warn you. The idea in itself was outrageous beyond belief. After all, wasn't home supposed to be the one place where people can feel relaxed, and safe, and.. well, happy? That's what it should be, in the least. But Natasha's fear of "going home" tied into another fear of hers.. a fear of being alone. And it wasn't because she thought she would get burglarized, or murdered, or kidnapped.. or would be the victim of a horrible freak accident, like her brother had nearly six years ago. Though, he hadn't been alone then.. she'd been with him.

The thought didn't help much, though.

Anyway, the point is, is that.. frankly, Natasha was only comfortable when she was surrounded by people.. when she was lost in the crowd, and entirely unnoticed. Silence scared the living hell out of the girl. She couldn't stand it. And even when she was at home, she had to have some sort of noise.. by singing aloud, or turning on the radio, or the television, or whatever.. the quietness of anything just.. hurt her ears.

So, she'd fallen asleep in the hospital at one in the morning, because she'd been afraid to go home, because she was afraid of the silence and the loneliness it caused. Therefore on this particular morning, Grey found herself lying on a hospital bed in a side hallway of the hospital, being awakened aprubtly and unnecessarily by a fellow intern and, well, somewhat-friend.. Dr. Jim Callahan, who they all called Jimmy, or Slim Jim, just for the hell of it. The majority of the doctors had given each other pet names, as a way to "spread the love".. her own, was "Pencil". Honestly, Natasha had no idea why. It'd been entirely Slim Jim's idea.. and the nickname had, unfortunately, stuck since then.

"You never leave this place, do you, Pencil?" Slim Jim laughed with a shake of his head as he stood before the bed in which Natasha lay. "Go home and get some real rest for once. I'm not sure they want an intern like you half-assing everything on her next shift."

By this time, Natasha had managed to sit up, rubbing her eyes for a short time before staring blankly at Callahan. Interns like her? What was that supposed to mean? But she wasn't awake enough to use such long.. complicated sentences as that. Forcing a small smile, Tash shook her head slowly.

"Half-assing.. nice." She managed, before sliding her way off the bed and stretching once she'd stood in place. "See you, Jimm-o." Godspeed, adieu, the whole shebang. Natasha wasn't the best at bidding farewell, whether it was informal or not.. it was no surprise for her to just up and leave.. with a relatively kind parting sentence, but never so much as a 'good bye'. A habit, I guess. But that was just Natasha, everyone said.

And it didn't seem to bother her one bit.

In no time, Tash had made her way over to the lockers and changed from her scrubs to her everyday clothing - or, yesterday's, at least. It really wasn't anything special.. jeans, a top, and a maroon jacket fit just above the waist.. she'd never really been one to pay too much attention to fashion, or whatever. It didn't matter, one way or another. It wasn't like you had to dress up to save people's lives, right? Pulling her hair up into a loose pony tail, Natasha closed her locker and exited the room.. and, soon afer, exited the hospital.

Now, even though she'd driven her car here, all the way from New York City, Natasha actually tried to bike her away around town.. and, no, she wasn't an environmental freak, to answer your question. It was hard to explain, really. She loved the feel of the wind against her face, and not having to wait for traffic.. and, it was good exercise, to be truthful. She rode her bike to the grocery store, and to the park, and the shopping mall, and.. well, according to the red bike locked up to a random post in front of the hospital, she rode it to work, too. It only took a second to unlock the bike, before she was sitting on the seat and riding away from the hospital.. at three in the morning, mind you. Even the sun wasn't up yet.

Which gave her an idea.

Okay, so, Natasha didn't exactly know what time the sun rose each morning, but it didn't exactly matter.. if she caught the sun, she caught the sun, right? She'd been on the route to, reluctantly, go home, when all of a sudden, and idea popped into her head.. the park. The park! If she was lucky, she might be able to watch the sun rise. If it rose at four or four thirty, that is.

If not, she could always enjoy the stars.

And so, she was on her way.. twisting off of the route she normally took home, and over to Cohen Public Park.. she'd gotten there in no time at all. Without hesitation, Natasha rode right onto the grass, taking a look around to observe the dark, deserted park.. she wasn't surprised that anyone was around at this time of night. She should have been sleeping as well, really.

Finding the perfect spot, Natasha finally stopped her bike and jumped off, letting it fall to the ground.. in just seconds, she did the same thing. Just, plopped down onto the grass. And then she just layed there, staring up at the sky, eyes squinted in a thought-filled manner.

The crickets in the background lulled her deep into surreality.

so let's lie in the grass and stare at the stars.
live through the moment, figure out who we are.

[[open to anyone, please ]]