Okay, so, Natasha wasn't so much a social-events type girl. Really. There'd been a point in time where she'd been a social butterfly - up until just recently, actually. And there really was no reason for her to not-enjoy this whole spend-time-off-work-and-out-of-the-house deal.. she was at the carnival, for god's sake. Needless to say, however, it was sufficiently awkward.. just a little bit. She honestly wasn't used to being in such a crowded space unless they were having a busy day at St. Mary's. Was that weird? Natasha thought so. She was well aware of just how weird she seemed. And, actually that was sort of the reason she was here.

They'd dragged her here.. 'they', as in, the other interns at the hospital. They were pretty much her friends, really.. as close as you could get, anyway. Their names? Peter, Andrea and Lisa - the three people she spent time with the most, though, more often than not, because she had to and not because she wanted to. I mean, they weren't that bad.. they all had their ups and downs. Peter, for instance.. an overall nice guy. A little shy, but all too awkard. Lisa, on the other hand, was the complete opposite: bold, wild, and completely unafraid. Which left Andrea, the chatter box.. but she meant well, really, she did. Even if she had the habit of boring people half to death.. like she was, at this very moment.

"And anyway, so I was like, 'Get out of town!' and he was like, 'Make me!' and I was like , 'I will!' and then he just randomly kissed me!" Andie continued as they walked towards the nearest ride, the one that Pete had been looking forward too since they'd arrived - the ferris wheel. While he'd tried to explain his fondness over it, Lisa had interrupted him, complaining of how boring he was and how he needed to take more chances, while Andrea continued to tell Natasha about her love life [the exact same story as she was telling now, unsurprisingly. For an intern, Andie really seemed to have a terrible memory], and Nan had just sat there and listened.. it was like the zoo with these three, almost. And even now, while Andrea repeated her 'love story' over again, Lisa and Peter continued to argue over the excitement of the ferris wheel, and Natasha was doing what she did best.. and I'm sure you could guess what that was.

Being absolutely silent.

It'd only taken a matter of minutes from them to walk from the cotton candy stand over to the ferris wheel, but once they reached their destination, Lisa seemed to have a different idea.

"Screw this," she'd exclaimed, glaring up at the ride before giving the rest of them a daring smile, "I'm riding.. that!" Pointing to a ride only known as the great 'Chaos' [you know, the one that flips you upside down and then right side up over and over again, all the while tilting you side to side a million feet up in the air? yes, that one] and jetting away from their little group. Andrea was the next to go.. suddenly ceasing her constant babbling and bidding them goodbye, before walking towards a ride opposite of where Lisa had headed. Only Peter and Natasha were left.

"You wanna.. uh.. go on the f-ferris wheel with me?" he'd asked in his cute, boyish-voice, and Nan felt bad to turn him down.. really, she did. But, along with being just slightly socially-inept, she hated rides.. something that the rest of them hadn't exactly known until she'd broken the news to them after they'd walked through the Fairgrounds' gates.

"Sorry, Pete.." she replied as kindly as she could, "It's too high." Okay, that was the dumbest lie she'd ever committed.. if there was any ride she could deal with, it was the Ferris Wheel. In fact, she loved the Ferris Wheel. Usually. But she just didn't feel up to it today. "I'll go sit on those benches over there and wait for you."

Turning on her heel, Natasha reached a set of benches in no time, plopping herself down on one of them with a sigh.. so much for cheering her up, eh? It was the thought that counted, and she knew that, but the carnival wasn't exactly something that would cheer her up after what'd happened today. Something she didn't want to think about.. but you could see the gloom in her eyes, even as she watched Pete up in the Ferris Wheel, waving to him excitedly every time he rotated towards her spot on the benches.. even as she grabbed a piece of cotton candy from the stick she held, and popped it in her mouth.

What could she say? No matter what, things were always going to happen.. death was always going to happen. And even if it was her job to save lives, there was really nothing that she could do about it.

you've got such a pretty smile
it's a shame the things you hide behind it
let 'em go, give it up for a while
let 'em free, and we will both go find it
I know there's no where you can hide it.
I know the feeling of alone.
I know that you do not feel invited..
but come back, come back in from the cold.